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Paul Dooley - Dooley Does Dylan

Over the years Paul Dooley, a longtime Dylan fan, remembered fondly his "Subterranean Homesick Blues".

He had been amused and intrigued by the quirky way the song was illustrated through the use of cards.
So had many others. And the video, of course, became iconic. As Dooley grew older (and then even older) he found himself discussing with his (even older) friends the many ailments and illnesses that beset senior citizens. He flashed on an idea that would pay homage to Dylan. His friend, actress Lynne Lipton, found a director, cameraman, and a location. Lynne produced and edited (and even played the bag-lady at the end). Turning to his other friend (he has two) Dooley enlisted Bruce Burton to sing the new Medicare-related lyric. Bruce and his band, Double Deluxe, created the track--four guitars, drums and harmonica. Burton performed the Dylan-esque vocal.
It may seem foreign to younger viewers, say under 50, announcing all ones illnesses and ailments as in this video, but the day will come when all of you will have some of these complaints.  So laugh if you will (and we certainly hope you do) but please be sympathetic to our elderly friends and rememberwe all have to play the cards we're dealt.

Dooley Does Dylan ... The Lyrics

Oh, the pain of arthur itis
Constipation deep inside us
Bad case of diabetes
Givin me the heebie jeebies
Loss of appetite
Loss of hearing
And if y please
Loss of keys
Look out kid,
This is what they did
Livin with the liver spots
Caught a really bad cough
Got osteoporosis
And i got cirrhosis
On top of everything
I got stuck with scoliosis

Card reading : HIVES
Voice over: I need Obama Care

Munchies make me wanna eat
Hemorrhoidsgot me beat
Oh wowirritable bowel
Flatulencei got it now
Memory—just got badder

Blank card.
Blank card.

Gall stones in the bladder
Look out kid, this is what they did
Went and got a hip replacement
Crabsdown in my basement
Sufferin from shingles
Scufferin from scurvy
I was kinda cool with that
But prostate unnerved me
Voice over: where the hells kevorkian?
Heart murmurs never fun
Oh, that hernia thats the one
Im tense and jumpy, all because
Of menopause
Rickets sucks
And acid reflux

Voice over: reflux?...reflux?...reflux?

Look out kid, this is what they did
Damn the damn insomnia
Dyspepsias a bummer
But lookin on the lighter side
If there is a lighter side
Diet dyspepsias
Real good in the summer

Card reading: erection lasting more than 4 minutes.

Les dixia
I mean, dys lexico
Er, loose dixie cup
Card reading: oh, fuck it.
Im fatiguedit just aint fair
Save me a spot in intensive care.
Hospital beeps.

Oh boy, now its critical

Hospital beeps.

Worse than that. Its terminal.

Flat line.
Silent interval.

Card reading: Rigor Mortis.


NOTE: For those that may remember Dooley's film "Breaking Away," the "Reflux? Reflux?" line is a reminder of his best known line from the film, "Refund? Refund?"

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